The Risky Business That Can Be Hiring a Mate

After over 5 years working in a PR agency, I’ve decided to go out on my own - which is both exciting and terrifying. I have a friend who is a graphic designer…we’re not BFs but we hang out often enough - and she’s been really supportive and encouraging of me taking this leap. Recently we went out for lunch and somewhere between our third and fourth-maybe-fifth Aperol Spritz, she’s now doing the branding for my new agency. A few days later, she emailed me with a quote for the work and I was shocked. The fee was way more than I was expecting and what she’d outlined was super vague.

I do think she gets me and my vision for the agency but also, I realised we’ve never actually worked together and so I don’t know her in a professional sense. So, I’m now feeling kinda stupid for getting myself into this and a bit stuck. I’m torn between avoiding any awkwardness and just moving ahead with the work or telling her I can’t afford her fee and it affecting our friendship. A mentor of mine has come in as a silent investor in the agency which means I do have some start-up funds but… I really wish we’d never had that lunch!

What do I do now????

Hey Lady,

First up, mazel on your new biz and future success. I love that you are backing yourself and that you also have some actual backing from someone who believes in you too. But this may be a potential bin fire from which you should try to elegantly and carefully back away. Friends and business and business and friends can be an incendiary combo that can spark brilliance or engulf your mutual love, respect and admiration in flames and fast. Something that you probs hadn’t considered in that booze-filtered haze at lunch.

Let’s hope and pray that the following will help you to avoid a small-to-large-scale friendship fire and a lost (launch) opportunity.

Please…

Get educated
This is an enormous assumption on my part but there’s a real chance you may have been just as vague in your brief as your gal has been in her quote. And that you have zero clue what this kind of job should cost and have just plucked some numbers from the sky and called it a budget. So first, let’s side-step the fee shock and the implication that she’s overcharged you for a min — quite the character assassination to make about A Friend, BTW. Instead, cast your net wider and source some other quotes for comparison. Speak to any other self-starters you know about their own start-up experience. You may well be in possession of a naively undercooked budget and wildly unrealistic expectations.

While we’re talking intel, why not also spend a bit of time getting to know your mate’s work; jump on her site, read any client testimonials, scroll through her folio. This may also help you better articulate what you want. You say she’s been super supportive of you, that she gets you and your vision. That’s worth something (a lot, in fact) and can save you time, effort and money vs dealing with a random.

(Gently) ask for clarity on the quote
A perfectly reasonable and professional thing to do. Help that land a little softer with her by waving the helplessly ignorant card and admitting you have zero idea about the process and what’s involved. While you’re experienced in your world of PR, you’ve now stepped into start-up land with an ever-expanding To-Do list across a range of specialist areas. This is all a big fat learning opp for you so explain that to her.

Once you can get clear on the fee structure, you can always ask her if there are any tweaks she can make to the scope to help land it within your budgetary ballpark. Rather than haggling down her hourly rate, perhaps some (unnecessary) bells can be removed; ask her where she thinks it’s important to spend and where you can save.

Get real
There is also this inconvenient truth; you don’t know if your gal’s any good at what she does. And if her design skills do prove to be underwhelming, you’re free-falling in an awkward, endless feedback loop or you’re paying for work that doesn’t light you up and all because your business brain went momentarily soft with the warm feels of friendship and too many Aperols.

Question: are you and your friendship up to carefully navigating these discussions with the pragmatism, consideration and respect needed on both sides? I’ve had some great experiences hiring friends but both of us have been super clear and super careful with one another on expectations and The Process.

Toss in a bit of self-deprecation and admit that you can be an A-type arsehole who will ride all your service providers until they’re broken and bleeding

You are climbing quite possibly the most important mountain of your life RN and getting your biz off the ground and keeping it upright will be pressure enough without the potential stress of a friendship brownout. Mates who can effortlessly and successfully shape shift into the roles of client and service provider without incident tend to be the exception rather than the rule. So consider where you need her most; in times like these, a support crew of personal cheerleaders is essential and this may ultimately be her best role for now.

So how to back away elegantly and carefully?

1. You could blame your not-very-silent, hard-arsey investor to whom you need to report back on every major line item in your budget. Push it further and mention that this partner also has a graphic design background and could really add some value. [Now watch her back away from this job faster than you can say ‘Helvetica Neue’.]

2. Tell her that since the Aperol haze has lifted, you’ve given it a lot of thought and you’re concerned that working together may affect your friendship. And She and That is what matters most. Toss in a bit of self-deprecation and admit that you can be an A-type arsehole who will ride all your service providers until they’re bleeding and broken and that you want to protect her from PR You.

And while we’re talking about PR You…that gal knows better than most that you really have just one shot at launching this business and that brand identity and impact in your world is vital. Why not think of your agency as your first client and this as the ultimate pressure test of how you manage a difficult decision, a curly conversation and of course, any necessary crisis comms.

Over to PR You…

Image credit: @Steven Klein