How To Navigate a Micro-Managing New Boss

I have a new manager who has not wasted a moment in flipping all the work I’ve been doing upside-down-inside-out and is totally micro-managing my time. He tells me what to do in two hourly blocks. Seriously. I’ve been in this job for two years and for the last year, I’ve been pretty much managing my own time. But this situation has made coming to work a major effort just to psych myself up for each day. And it’s actually giving me anxiety. I feel like I’ve got training wheels on and that I’m back to being a junior. I can’t tell whether he’s just trying to assert himself within his new role and how efficient he is OR whether he just thinks I’m shit and needs to put a leash on me.

The awkward part is he’s an old friend of the CEO so I don’t know if I can even bring any of this up with anyone or even HR. But I do know that I can’t keep showing up every day and dealing with this without speaking up. Should I just cut my losses and get outta here fast?

Hey Lady,

New bosses who need to metaphorically flop their bits out onto your work station to remind you of their power as your Monday-Friday overlord are PAINFUL. I dislike yours already. But then my measured self inhales and reminds herself/yourself to breathe.  A decent settling-in period for all involved must be tolerated. I think: you gotta sit this out for a bit Lady and give this (potential) bozo a chance. 

You’re probably not ready to hear this just yet but here goes: he may surprise you. While you let that marinate for a moment, let me tell you about a time when this very Lady landed a position as an internal overlord and before she could even think about wielding her new wand, one hot head resigned on the spot in protest. While it was hard not to feel the full whack of that to the ego maximus, I pushed through and calmly advised her that she mustn’t allow me to rank so highly in her life that she would give up her primary source of income rather than give me a hot minute to prove why I’d got the gig. [She did not expect this reverse-psych sandwich and her boggled face was its own reward. She then quickly and sheepishly retracted her resignation and returned to her work station, for at least another year or two.]

Ask for His input. Everyone loves being asked for their advice. Especially men.

But back to you…don’t be so easily defeated — and don’t show your soft underbelly so early into this relationship. To be fair, this new boss of yours may well just be trying to get across both your To-Do List and your skill set. Perhaps you’re being a little bit precious?  Discomfort is not always something to flip out over; we all need to be shaken and stirred out of a rut in which we didn’t even realise we were languishing. Do you really want to just continue on the way you’ve been going for another year?! Sure you’ve been working to the BPM of your own soundtrack and how glorious that independent state would have been compared to your now. That time is over. Accept it and move on/up.  

The great news? Change will expand your range. Open yourself up to this opportunity. Ask for His input. Everyone loves being asked for their advice. Especially men. Let him show you what He knows and You, in turn,  show that you are willing and able to follow His lead and take that ride. Also, keep an eye on the calendar. If He calms the fuck down and hands back your reigns, then my little plan has worked wonderfully. Order will soon be restored, and so too your healthy cortisol levels.

However, if He continues this micro-managing mania for what is genuinely feeling like forever, then take a little trip to HR. Get them up to speed in that carefully crafted language in which HR types tend to speak; how you’ve been ‘excited for this new learning opportunity’, the steps you’ve taken to ‘welcome and support his integration into the team’. If those types are any good, they’ll hear the ‘but’ that’s lurking in uppercase, bold, italics. Which is: …BUT you feel like things are moving in reverse, you are moving in reverse, and it’s affecting the quality and quantity of your output. How do they suggest you handle this? [Lock eyes. Let your question mark punctuate the air. Wait for a response.]

Do not, under any circumstances, refer to His connection to the CEO. To anyone. And know this: when someone hires a friend, there is an inevitable grace period but then the heat gets turned up to HIGH. His boss will be eyeballing His impact on the team and how well He plays with others because a friend expects even more from a friend in the workplace. This sitch will right itself, I’m sure of it. 

Just don’t jump off a bridge over someone who may end up being a blimp in your career history—or the greatest teacher you never knew you needed.

Image: ©Tim Walker